Sorry ~.~

This blog is dedicated to all the people that I know. Please kindly leave a message after reading it.

Before getting started, I would like to apologize to all the people that had been hurt by me, hated me and all that is concerned in this matter. All of this is started when he told me of what I had done that makes people feel uncomfortable, angry, mad, sad, etc. What I had done is absolutely wrong and I admit it as my own fault because of my attitudes, behaviors, languages, tones, so on and so forth that no one including me cannot accept it.

First, I would like to say about my attitudes that made a lot of people to feel sad, discomfort, angry, hatred and even some want to kill me. My natural attitudes are good but i misuse it and it made the case different. I am a quite straight forward person, means I will say whatever thing that is inside my mind and the bottom of my heart straight away without even thinking of the consequences that will greatly affected others. I will directly criticize a person when I feel discomfort. I will also use words that are so rude until the whole atmosphere of the surroundings stunned by my words. All along I do not know of what I had done to the listener of my words until he told me a few days ago. I just found out that I am actually piercing into one's heart with my words. Not only the person that the words subjected to felt the hatred, other people that heard also felt disgusted by my silly, immature and rude attitude. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by thinking the words that will be spitted out my mouth before they are spoken. I also feel that I am very ashamed myself after being reflected of what I have done. If really I want to give opinion, I will try to approach in the sincerest way.

Besides, I also like to joke around. My primary objectives of this action is actually want to make people laugh and have a nice day. But it turns out in a opposite effect. I too often joke with hyperbolic language that most of the times hurt people. When I tried to say something, i usually will make it funny and add some emotions to it in my own way that I think is funny. But it is not at all. I do not know before he told me. What i was trying to joke is not taken as a joke all the times. People will think my joke is not kidding because it is not so funny. Sometimes when I was kidding, I did not mention the true intentions and my real opinions in a particular matter. It turns out to be a huge mistake and I all along do not know it is so. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by telling jokes that are really funny. I feel that I looks like the joker in the movie "Dark Knight" or "Batman". I feel very terrible hurting others in the way that actually I want to cheer them up. I will also try to change by telling that I was just kidding and told what the true intentions are.

Furthermore, I seems to over imaginary until i thought myself as the king of the universe. I like to give command to other people as if they are my slaves or maids. Because of my arrogance, I think that I am more superior than other people. And because of my laziness, I like to assign people to do my donkey work that actually can easily done by myself. Also because of my complexes of inner feelings and thoughts, which I do not know how to say, I like to make fun of people and tell people what to do as if I am really a professional in a particular area. All along I do not know that what I done, actually hurt peoples' feelings terribly. Before he told me, I have no idea of what I had done. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by no more order people to do things that can be done myself or beyond the limits of other people. I also know that actually I am much more inferior that other people that have suffered from my ignorance. I will also try to do things myself most of the time and will not trouble others unless there are no choices left. By the way, thanks to those that help me and 'used' by me, there will be no next time, for sure.

Moreover, I am not considerate enough. Sometimes I will think of what people will say if I say something so that I reply with relevant information. But I never thought of what people's feeling frequently enough. As a matter of fact, I misjudge the limits of other person. As I am a self-centered and selfish people, I will personally have a precocious notion that everyone limits of receiving a judgment, criticism, opinion, rude words, and other more in this relevant context, as the same as my own. Before being told by him, I absolutely do not know that I had done so much damage to people around me. Now i think back of what I had done, I will feel that if those thing I had done is on me, I will also had hard feelings. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by thinking more of others feeling and being more considerate before I perform an action or speaking. I will also try to understand and cope with everyone's limits towards a matter so that I will not accidentally incinerate the fire of other people.

Next, I also use languages and tones that are not nice during conversations and communications. In fact, I also pretty often use vulgar words. My tones are moody and sarcastic. It is not nice at all, I know it when he told me. I felt that I am rude and not sensible when talking. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by minimizing the chance of using vulgar words and also use tones of speech that are more comfortable to the listeners.

Other than that, I am also quite a stingy and spiteful person. I am always quite revengeful. If other people done something wrong or fault to me, even if the matter is very small and not important, I will lose my temper and scold that person very heavily, sometimes without giving the chance for them to explaining. I also will take revenge on other people that offend me in a childish way. It is really a bad thing and I know it after he told me. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by taking deep breaths for ten times before letting my anger out. I also will try to change by having more forgiveness and try to understand people more before taking an action. I will also try to solve the problem together or find a solution for a difficult situation rather than scold a person for a reason that is negligible.

Lastly, I also likes to grumble about life. I always like to give my opinion and situation. I always like to blame others and when helped by other, I sometimes will forget to thank them. I will express my difficulty to anyone without knowing that the timing is not right. This in turn result to the crushing of a joy atmosphere to become dull because annoyed by my comments and opinions that basically criticize anything that is less significance. After he told me, I know that I had done wrong. I know that I had been an annoying people to get along and certainly a culprit in most cases.

For what had I done, I know that I had actually offended many people. I noticed that my friends are getting less and less each day. I also know that it is very hard to change my attitude but I will definitely try my best. Again, I would like to say sorry for all the trouble I brought to all of you. I am sorry, seriously. I promise I will try to change by selecting a suitable time to express my feelings and to those that are really interested and ready to listen and share opinions. I will also try to join the rhythm of an atmosphere and cope with the tunes of other people.

Finally, I know that there much more mistakes, foul and wrong thing that I had done to many people. I sincerely wish all people that read this blog will leave a comment about what I had done wrong so that I can realize and try to curb it. I will be very happy if readers post how I made you angry, sad, moody, etc so that I do not repeat it again. Please kindly leave a comment also for what should I do to improve my bad attitude and what's the catch to communicate with others. I also want to thank him for telling me my faults and mistakes, if not I still live in my own world. If someone that reads this blog and feels angry, mad or anything, leave a comment also, scolding and insulting is acceptable. Thank you.

Written by a guy who starting to think his existence is the waste of oxygen in this world.